Friday, October 20, 2006

Signs 'O The Times; Flatuphobia? Is Farting Better than Cure?

Signs, Cures, and 21st Century Angst???
This one from a Mc Donalds tray place mat. This young man marked by the golden circle,
patronised by the Golden Arches, needs to rotate his victory sign 180 degrees. I do, however,
sympathise with the sentiment. Grin...

This one from a pharmacy in Sydney. "AIDS IN THE TREATMENT OF FLATULENCE", it says.
Lil Ol Me!!!
This is what I felt after spotting the above in a Sydney pharmacy, especially if they plan on putting the above substances in tap water. Enough to make your Mother's eyes water...
GUILTY: Of just about everything I can think of at the moment! My flatulence may be a violation of the Kyoto Protocol, but they can stick the above somewhere else where the sun
don't shine, like Pluto.
the HAMMER!
Thanks, and congratulations to Sam, the loveliest "Colleen" to newly grace Terra Australis as a Permanent Resident! Welcome to John Howard's nightmare...

Friday, September 15, 2006

I Did Not Know I Cared Until....


What You Don't Know About Someone Until They're Gone...

I did not know Steve Irwin. I confess to being one of those people who felt that his persona had to be contrived. This was something I'd believed because I've met some very famous people, and had my preconceptions dashed rather unpleasantly.

With Steve, however, it appears (at least from a close reading of most newspapers this week) that this judgement of mine got rectified far too late. I read about his bizarre, untimely passing in an Australian newsletter called "Crikey" (absolutely true), then the first word which fell out of my mouth was "Crikey". No kidding. I was stunned.

R.I.P. Steve. Of all the people whom I'd expect to die young, you would have been one of the last to come to mind. And now you have passed to a better place (which is my sincere prayer), I'd like to apologise for thinking you were a fake. I've not seen so many Aussies genuinely moved since the death of Donald Bradman - and then again, I think you've knocked him out of the park with this extraordinary reaction to your passing.

Paul Hogan was quoted not so long ago as claiming that the "Ocker" was dead. I don't think so. I think the species came of age with such guys like you - with such joy of life - who put a warm face to what is now a readily-identifiable, quintessential Australian bloke.

I didn't watch too many of your shows, nor do I watch much TV at all. But, as far as celebrities go, no matter what I thought, I don't think anyone could detract from the fact that you were 100% 'fair dinkum.' God bless you mate; and for what it may be worth to Terry and the Kids, my prayers will be with all of you.

We've all lost a truly unique Australian. I'm sorry, Steve: I'll now watch your reruns. What I have seen, I have enjoyed immensely. You've certainly left a treasure trove for me to explore.

Who'd have thought this would happen? God truly takes the best first.

tH!

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Words Of The Day: Iontophoresis, and an Obvious One Or Two...





Two of History's Greatest Minds. Oppenheimer and Einstein.
























Gone Fission: Nuclear that is. Black Night; 3 Billion years.

http://sunsite.berkeley.edu/VideoTest/opp1.ram Part 1 of a speech telling UC Berkeley Students Why We Need One World Government to Stop the Proliferation of The Bomb He Unleashed. Einstein? Had NOTHING to do with it.


http://sunsite.berkeley.edu/VideoTest/opp2.ram
Part Two: Oppie waxes lyrical on what he did on his holidays.



Now this fiend is a piece of work:

Aldous Huxley. You can find him

Explaining How Your Brain is Being

Washed Every day - and you do not

Even Know It. One of Today's Words?

Iontophoresis:–noun

a painless alternative to drug injection in

which a weak electrical current is used to stimulate drug-

carrying ions to pass through intact skin.

Enjoy your tap water...

Find out all about it:

http://sunsite.berkeley.edu/VideoTest/hux1.ram

And:

http://sunsite.berkeley.edu/VideoTest/hux2.ram

Just when you thought you had life all figured out. GUILTY!!!!

Oh; and again - for those of you who like the pictures only...rap out to this.

http://www.infowars.com/video/clips/news/september_11/082806_bin_laden_no_blow_up_projects.htm

the HAMMER!

Saturday, August 19, 2006

WWIII: Aug 22- OCT 25 (Part the Second) Because....

BECAUSE.....You Never Know OUCCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Your Luck...
In a Big...
Country.
"You might not say it..
"You might not say it...
"But it's probably me..."
Sting.
I'd be wincing as well, but that's a
Rolling Stones track...(Sympathy For The Devil.)
Der HAMMER!!

WWIII? Aug 22 - Oct 25 ?? The Invisible Hand

The Invisible Hand That Rules The world...



Which Pulls This Dunderhead's Toe-Ropes...



(Caveat Lector: Dubya's Birthday Pic; "Oh Prescott, it's a Muppet!!!??")



Is going to send very loud, noisy and destructive things over the poles of
This Planet....

Taken LiveTime from 1000451kms AsiaSat 2, UTC 12:00 approx
With The Aim of doing THIS to the MIDDLE EAST.....(specifically Iran)
Boom. Can't do audio yet, folks.


For the Sake of These...
Check the ones in your pockets, people. The eye of Osiris over a 13 tier pyramid.
Masonic Demonry on the back of the Greenback...



With The Aim Of Turning The Remainder of the World's Vassal Slaves into
These....
Nice sheeple. Solyent Green For Fat Bankers...



All For The Sake Of This.....

Because....


"Zig Georgeler!!!": Coming to an Axis of Evil Near You - AUG 22 through OCT 22
Hunker down, people. You 'ain't seen NOTHIN' yet...
VERDICT???: Too dumb to be the Antichrist, but don't hold your breath, because.... To be continued....
tH!!!

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Escape: My Coogee Cove


My Coogee Cove

I remember that beach.
That curly, cut winding beach,
with the crevices and coves at it's edges
upon the rocky ridges of it's points.

Along the strip at Selinas...
Across from dope city,
Rock 'n Roll Paradise.

It washes my pain away.
I sit gazing out to sea
at peace...

It's tiding me clean.
And I go there often
simply
to
sit
still.

And have the roll of the ocean lull over me,
the white peaks of the waves thrash my soul
from the filth of the ghetto of Waterloo,
and lullaby my heart across those oceans
to Home.

Oh good God to go Home...
Perhaps to sleep perchance to dream?

My solace, my cavern, my own Private Idaho.

Mine.

Mine only...

I must go back there soon,
to answer it's call,
then go
Home...

And I shall wonder at it.

I'll let it in and purge me.
It shall flow through the veins to my heart,
and wash me clean and pristine.

Oh my Coogee Cove - Please take me back?
I may die without you.

J.R.C.
Monday, 5 February 2001, 9:23:09.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Today's Word: And No, I'm Not Worth Suing...

ONOMASTICON

Yoko breastfeeds by Telethon for Peace in Idaho?

Nope: A vocabulary or dictionary of proper names or place

names.


tH!

Saturday, August 12, 2006

I'm In Love With A Man: Strike The Prose


The World's Greatest Typographical
Error: Spike Milligna.

Unto Us

Somewhere at some time
They committed themselves to me
And so, I was!
Small, but I WAS!
Tiny, in shape
Lusting to live
I hung in my pulsing cave.
Soon they knew of me
My mother --my father.
I had no say in my being
I lived on trust
And love
Tho' I couldn't think
Each part of me was saying
A silent 'Wait for me
I will bring you love!
'I was taken
Blind, naked, defenseless
By the hand of one
Whose good name
Was graven on a brass plate
in Wimpole Street,
and dropped on the sterile floor
of a foot operated plastic waste
bucket.
There was no Queens Counsel
To take my brief.
The cot I might have warmed
Stood in Harrod's shop window.
When my passing was told
My father smiled.
No grief filled my empty space.
My death was celebrated
With tickets to see Danny la Rue
Who was pretending to be a woman
Like my mother was.

Spike Milligan




the Hammer!

Dear Spike,

I owe you an incalculable debt.

I'm a Scot, who grew up watching "The Goon Show" on BBC; the puppet version.

Later on in life, I discovered your radio show whilst I was a disturbed teen.

I laughed at, and loved, Eccles. I felt so sad for him because he was (in my young eyes)

a chided, but dearly loved pariah. The best thing anyone could give me, was the gift

of Eccles coming home to play with me, and sleeping over. In my room... He's a tender soul.

I'd kill to defend him...

My Mother tried to murder me when I was 6 years old, and nine. I was saved

by my Father, who tossed her across the house - then held me.

But he could not hold my soul, although he valiantly worked to keep it buoyant.

Later in life, as a consequentially troubled teen, you literally kept me alive

by paroxyms of laughter, feeding me from what was the radio version of "The Goon Show".

A pearl of great price, found without seeking.

It was a rare gift from God:

He granted me the privilege to glisten in the light of your torrid flame, and you nurtured me.

I dearly love you, Spike; and to this day, the thought of your passing hurts like a bastard.

Faith, the essence of things not seen, gives me hope that I can say this to your face one

fine day - when this mess is an old nightmare.

Thank you for such a rich gift; endurance in the

face of despair, and such joy in unchained laughter.

Rest in Peace; you were a marvel of your Maker's joy.

J.

Friday, August 11, 2006

GRAVITAS: Pampered Menials II - Unplugged

Celebrity: The Importance of Being Noticed


Trip Fails To Water Ego: MX News, Sydney Australia, 8th August, 2006/www.teenhollywood.com:

A charity trip to Africa has brought Justin Timberlake down to Earth, branding it the most grounding experience of his life because nobody recognized him.

The singer accompanied girlfriend Cameron Diaz to Tanzania and was stunned to meet people who had no idea of the couple's fame, teenhollywood.com reports.

"First we thought they might have recognized us, but we were humbled to find out they hadn't a clue who we were," he said.

"They were celebrating because they finally had a well with drinking water."

HAMMERTIME: Hmmm. Some people have their priorities steadfast. 'Let them drink Perrier' back at the Zambese Hilton? Inevitably... Sigh...

Zzzzzzzzzz.

Verdict? Actions speak louder than words, Viva Tanzania! I wish I could build you an Aswan dam. Enjoy.

The HAMMER!

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

When In Berlin, Speak Like The Deutchlanders Do



"Ich bin einer Berliner Fleischwurst!" Berlin: 1962.

Thirteen days, not so long ago, the US Military

Industrial Complex wanted to blow this wonderful gift from God

we live on to oblivion, and this man stood fast -

later to be shot like a bad dog that bites a baby - then

then fed to the Philistines as "raw meat for the balcony".

I've been to Arlington and paid my sincere respects. What

about you?

The HAMMER! PS: Woody Harrelson's father did it - amongst

a cast of other nefarious malefactors, such

as one President who has the same surname

as another.

Consider yourselves told...

The Word Of The Day: It's Werse, and Titty

APOTHEGM

It's a terse and witty aphorism.

Aphorisim? www.dictionary.com. Need I do everything for you people?

For a Canadian Wordsmithy, who's coming to a country near me.

The HAMMER!

Oh; for those that just read the pictures - here's the book of the month:


The HAMMER! accepts cash only - from anyone. No questions, maybe answers...

The Getting Of Wisdom


May one be wise, and not know so?

Der Hammer! Ist das varoom?

Monday, January 30, 2006

Flags of Shame, Flags of Honour. Make Your Mind Up, Australia!

Flags of Shame, Flags of Honour - You Decide, and "Macht Schnell, Bitte", before some Facist Does it For You!

This is an Australian Flag. This is NOT a White Supremacist Flag. Somehow, Sydney's Waverley Counil seems to live in great trepidation and fear that ONE or more people may think so.

I have trouble with the Union Jack on it, but - as Malcolm X says in one of my earlier blogs "The man who does not stand for something, falls for EVERYTHING". There's no shame in a country's heritage, nor is there shame if that country wants to alter it - and become a Republic.

I have a dream.



Now - this flag is very definately a White, Anglo-Saxon, Facist Supremacist Flag. This issue was dealt with irrevocably - or so one would think - in 1945, and then afterwards by the Nuremberg Trials.

Keep in mind, that a wise man called Albert Santanyana once opined that "Those who do not learn the lessons of history are doomed to repeat them." I first saw that quote over Jim Jones' dead body, photographed as it lay rotting in the Tropic of Cancer heat, in Jonestown Guyana, circa 1979.

People do not learn from history - and here's the proof paid.

This is a gay, Nazi flag. Someone obviously thinks this outrageously funny, but it's not. Anyone know who "Jeff Gannon" is? Anyone know anything about gay prostitutes given tours of the Whitehouse since the days of Ronald Reagan? Anyone know that the pink in this flag was assigned to gay people by one of the most mechanised, efficient, killing machines to stalk the Earth since the dawn of time - and some gay fop out there thinks it's funny, 'cause these blonde-haired, blue-eyed Aryan men look oh-so good in leather? As I say - people do NOT learn from the lessons of history; they prefer hagiography - that is, the revision of history to suit special-interest groups. Now these are both White Supremacist flags, but of two completely different, and diametrically opposed reasons.


Oh - this one here? This is the world's most famous, bisexual, neo-nazi - beg your pardon, NEO-CON. President George W. Bush. Note the defamatory images in the background? That's because there's none there - it's all true.

Australia: get a flag before you loose your country.

the HAMMER!

Eternal Strife: The Punctuation Police. Damnation For Want of a Comma!


Toilet Wisdom: Spotted Early This Year.

This one would not stay under my radar blip - so much so, I took the el-cheapo digital camera into the aforementioned gentleman's convenience in the heart of the Sydney CBD.

One must question the wisdom of knowing the RIGHT thing about 9/11, then dying informed - all for the lack of a comma. I mean, if knowing the right thing about 9/11 means dying informed, compared to dying stupid, what does it matter anyway? Can the dead use information for their benefit from the grave?

All for the lack of a bleedin' comma - in the heart of a district where you'd imagine a person would have the education which would render their statement grammatically correct!

10/10 for intent, but 0/10 for expression - pedant that I am.

Cased Closed - but 9/11, definitely wide open. You could fly a Jumbo jet through the loose ends, such as .... Never mind. That's a website, not a blog.

the HAMMER!